hankr

It's over

Thu, 03 May 2007 19:08:25 GMT

Whew. Semester is over. About the same as usual, with the same feelings at the end of each. Reaches a crescendo just at the end with the Exit Exam, frantic students looking for last-miute help, and my seminars--the same two-hour speech 5 times in one week. Boy, do I get tired of talking about paragraph and essay format! Walking away from the porch today was sad. For one thing, it will be about my last cigarette for a long time! Also, how many of my scruffies will be back in the fall? Will I be back in the fall? It's a loose, casual group, but there is a real camarderie. If they are tolerant enough to accept me, they are pretty open-minded. It helps to not act like a parent but like a peer, to the extent that I can act like a peer to a group of adolescents and young adults. But, in many ways, they are more mature than some of the teachers/staff I work with. Well, in some ways, at least. It was amusing watching Kylie getting felt up by another girl and listening to the reaction by some of the lunchtime staffers I was eating with. My response was, "Oh, that's just Kylie.", like it explained everything. Nothing, though, will ever top the time David the Boxer exposed himself to the woman I was talking to in the lounge. That was classic.

So, till next semester.

Terrible Tech

Tue, 17 Apr 2007 19:59:28 GMT

How sad about what hapened at Tech. Having heard that the shooter was from this area, I am now waiting for a shoe to drop that he had attended NoVa. Sure hope not.

Mixed emotions about him. Obviously condemn him for what he did, but also anguish over the misery he must have been feeling that led him to do it. "A loner." The worst thing that people can do is be a loner. Bottling up frustrations, perceived hurts, wanting to talk about things but not doing so. It's like airing out a musty basement. Fresh air always clears things up. Reality checks. Life may suck but it's never as bad as people may think at the time.

Lazy days of summer

Sun, 06 Aug 2006 01:41:51 GMT

Sigh, well, summer is actually starting to wind down. Has been nice. Went to Texas, high school reunion, saw my cousins, my second cousin who was about to get out of jail, visited Corpus Christi. Would I want to live in Texas again? Hmm, hard to say.

Still trying to get through painting house. Haven't even started on inside, but only two rooms--living and my bedroom--to do, plus hall. Presume Todd will do it all but he is somewhat erratic. If he can ever get away from his sister and his sister's friend, then maybe things can go more quickly, or at least go. Have possible color for br but no idea still what to paint the lr. Also much more fix-up stuff to do. Why won't my outdoor light work now that I have replaced the switch? Wires reversed? Shouldn't be an issue but I will try it.

Eek! School starts in two weeks. My schedule already shaping up. MW tutor in afternoon and TR late morning archeology class. Probably at least one more tutoring class. Maybe the Transitions program, with high school students taking hybrid senior/freshman English. Can I deal with high school students without wringing their necks? Will they be mature enough? More importantly, will I? Oh, and a 3% raise. Where will I spend all that money!?

Murphy the dog is a nice new addition. Poor old Rocky gone but not forgotten. Not my favorite dog; his personality was just too unimpressive. I wonder if he wondered why he was never treated as well as he deserved? The only time we were really close was when Tango died and I let him sleep on the bed.

And the ever-present question hanging over everything: What about Roger? How long can this go on?

Whew

Sun, 16 Jul 2006 01:04:31 GMT

Damn, it's hot. And damn it's humid. Had to take the damn dog for a damn walk. Cleaning the damn house. Eating damn food. Damn, it's hot. And damn it's humid. And I have a damn headache from the damn beer that damn Benn forced me to drink after he forced me to buy a damn clay pipe and smoke damn Dutch damn tobacco.

Scene from To Kill a Mockingbird: Scout uses damn all the time and Gregory Peck ignores her; going through a phase.

Damn, it's hot. And damn it's humid. What was life like before air conditioning? How did people function?

Why do I need a subject? It's my journal

Sat, 08 Jul 2006 02:03:59 GMT

Damn, since Bennington has laid a guilt trip on me, I feel obligated to keep cranking out entries. Ain't guilt a marvelous motivator? That and its opposite twin, vanity, probably drive 99.999999999999999999999999999999% of human behavior. What would we do without them? We would probably be reduced to the level of plants, driven solely by tropisms, just turning to the light, growing away from gravity, vegitating, in a word.

Speaking of vegg'ing, I have been doing delightfully so this summer. Tutoring hasn't worked out, except for Friday evenings, so I have no obligations or motivations for the summer. I am slowly getting the outside of the house ready for painting and Todd will be coming down from New York to do that. I'll help but I hate to paint so that I will gladly let him do the bulk. He needs the money, anyway. If I can figure out what color to do the living room, I will have him do that, too. Need to get it done and Todd is a willing victim. Oh, how I hate to paint.

I'm back

Wed, 05 Jul 2006 22:16:55 GMT

OK, OK, so it's been a while. I forgot my password. I forgot my username. I forgot my real name. Minor details.

When is it going to stop raining? I have a ready-made second job--selling the mold that is growing spontaneously on my inside walls. And, there seems to be a fuzz starting on my back. Cabin fever is beginning to fester.

Saw a really bizarre cool movie on tv--Primer. About two guys who invent a machine that can permit travel back in time. I'm going to research it online. Really cool but hard to follow parts of it, since multiples of the two guys start showing up.

Speaking of movies, there are some interesting ones coming up--the new Pirates movie seems like enjoyable summertime entertainment. And, A Scanner Darkly is indeed based on the sci fi book that I have. Read it many years (can you say decades?) ago. I remember it as being very confusing, since the hero appears as two characters, somewhat like Primer, since he is an undercover narc in the future and he monitors his own comings and goings. Not sure about Keanu Reeves, though. He can be pretty heavyhanded in his acting.

Hank

Been a while

Sat, 20 May 2006 19:39:32 GMT

Oops, I guess I let my journal slip a bit there. Funny how doing nothing can take so much time. Well, now I'm busy. Getting ready for a short vacation. But, how does one take a vacation from a permanent vacation? Well, I guess it's more a change of scene. I'll undoubtedly be busier on vacation than I normally am at home. It's a tough life.

Preparing dinner tonight for a couple from down the street. Couple of what? Well, alcoholics, mostly. Not that I mind drinking or other indulgences; I do them myself. But, it is the level that bugs me. Funny that the level of an activity that a person does is considered 'normal' and anything more than that is considered to excess. The universal egocentric view of the world.

I am putting on the dog tonight. And yet in an understated way so that it doesn't look like anything special. The best way to outshine someone is to appear not to be doing so. "Oh, this is just something I threw together. Oh, do you like the fois gras? Thanks, I just had it sitting in the fridge and thought I better use it before it went bad."

I'll try to remember to file a report tomorrow.

Night before the final

Fri, 05 May 2006 03:40:06 GMT

Whew. I am in a slow mood. Stayed up very late last night cleaning and rearranging the house so tired today. Then the guy who was supposed to come by to do some fixing up, carpentry, etc., didn't show, so I just kind of sat around all day waiting. Should have focused on studying for my final tomorrow but was just mentally out of it. Did study some this evening but then found the syllabus. Total possible points for the entire semester is 700. As of now, I have 530 out of a possible 500 (extra points given for little things and I have managed to pretty much ace those.) I turned in my last essay and will get it back in class. I figure it is pretty good and should pull a B, at least. That means another 85 points, or a total of about 615, maybe, going into the final, which is worth 100 points. If I walk in, sign my name, and walk out, I will still have enough points to maybe pull an A. So what is the justification for busting my butt to crush the final?

Another day, another fray

Thu, 04 May 2006 01:11:27 GMT

So, what happened today? Like a magnet, school keeps pulling me back. I went by and got the signatures on my last three timesheets, which I finally submitted. Paperwork. What a bother. It's a good thing I don't depend on the money I get from tutoring or I would be a poor student indeed, in more than one meaning of the word.

Started studying seriously for my Sci Fi lit final, which is Friday. A chunk of memorization, which is mostly tedious but necessary, since I know Art will focus on information which he has posted in his study guide. He let slip that it is also some text from a lecture he gave to an intercollegiate conference a couple of years ago, so it is obvious that he thinks a lot of it.

While he was talking about his presentation, I let slip that I had been asked to be part of a presentation that an ESL teacher here is going to give at this year's conference. I don't know if it pulled him down or me up in his eyes, but I do know he was surprised. I'll make sure I run into him when we are all hobnobbing in Williamsburg this fall.

This journal business is kind of cool. I have to keep making regular postings so I get into the habit of it. Problem may be that with the start of summer, there will be less specific activity to write about. Still, it's fun. Thanks to frien' Benn for putting me onto it.

Tue, 02 May 2006 00:35:11 GMT

Is it proper to add to one's own journal? Or must I await others? Is it my journal if I don't say anything? I don't know; ask the tree that falls unheard in the forest.

Journal. Have to be careful. Sounds too much like urinal. Don't want to get those mixed up.

Today was the last day of my semester of tutoring. Tired. Glad for the break. Went to a party that the students in one of my classes were having. Had to endure their thanks and then they all lined up for a one at a time hug. Eek. That is not for me. I am too shy and aloof to feel comfortable in that kind of setting.

Also, the perspective is different from the front of the class. Sure, I am glad that I can click with them, but I have to bond with all of them, and they all only have to bond with one of me, so it is easier for them. Also, next semester, I have to make a whole new set of connections. Sadly, it means that I have to hold back somewhat. Today's friend is next semester's remembered face is next year's vague recollection.

Tempus fugit.